Since beginning this on-going journey to shift perspective, self-discovery and understanding, I have, and continue to have many “A-HA” moments. Each moment has created a shift in my perspective that left me with more wisdom and knowledge I had before. Knowing there are endless opinions and research on the topics I explore, I bask in learning from others and love to listen. But when my journey hits a wall of frustration, whether it be in my business, personal life, health or emotional issues, my entire shift comes to a screeching halt and hits the fan.
So what do I do when my shift hits the fan?
As a coach I struggle with asking for help. I get squeamish with telling someone I have a problem. I’ve learned over the years that having a coach to open up to and get advice from is one of the most important tools a coach has. But when I have physical issues that then manifest into emotional ones I gather every morsel of wisdom I’ve got and brace myself for my shift seriously hitting the fan.
Personally, I have had 3 physical issues that manifested in to emotional unhappiness in the last 6 months. The first was a bummer, no biggie; not even going to mention it. I could surely handle it, using my tools, like meditation and journaling I could see my way through. Then a couple months later my upper back started in on me. “Okay I got this.” So, I won’t work out this week and I’ll stretch my back out more often and of course, although I’m not big on popping pills, my handy Advil doesn’t let me down. Couple weeks later, my capped front tooth that had been knocked out when I was a kid was knocking at my consciousness.
Now, I am an optimistic person. I can find the lesson and the why in everything. But when the shift hits the fan and you know what to do but all you want to do is cry and be pissed off at the world…DO IT! I was pissed, “WTH!, why is this happening? I have so much to do and now I have to just slow down and almost stop…UGHHHHH!!!”
5 Steps I use when my SHIFT hits the fan
Allow yourself to feel the emotionThis may sound harsh, but it is essential to getting through this time. Dive into your emotion. If you are pissed be pissed. Feel how it feels, describe it, write it down and when you’ve had enough take a few deep breaths and move on. When it comes up again repeat the process. This goes for any emotion, sadness, disappointment, grief whatever it is, dive in. Michael Singer writes, “If you are resisting something you are feeding it. Any energy you are fighting you are feeding. If you are pushing something away you are inviting it to stay.” In other words, if you want the feeling to subside, and shift perspective, you must welcome it in and feel it if you want it to go away.
24 hours to feel like crapAllow yourself feel. Cry, be angry, hide away in your house or do whatever you need to do to wallow in your misery. Then after that’s done, start picking yourself up and putting your shift back together. Small things like going for a walk or making a meal can shift perspective and be therapeutic in getting momentum back on a positive track.
Practice self-loveLouise Hay professed that, “Love is the greatest miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” Always on point, I cannot impress this enough. The way you speak to yourself when your shift hits the fan is essential to how quickly you will shift perspective, get through it and find all the juicy nuggets of wisdom inside. Since this is what is wanted, to get through this time and move forward, please pay attention to your self-talk and do whatever is needed to be kind to yourself to get through this time.
Expectations into AppreciationAll those expectations that didn’t turn out the way they “should”, (Abraham-Hicks says and I wholeheartedly agree that, “Everything is always working out for us no matter what.” It’s important to remember that when we’re using the word “should”). take each one of those expectations and write them down on a piece of paper. Then on the opposite side of the paper, write something to be appreciative for. Then rip or draw a big red X over the expectation side and throw it away. Finding appreciation in your expectations in a powerful tool when shifting perspective. Begin using it and it will become a tool you use again and again.
Reclaim your powerOnce you’ve found some appreciation in your shift, come up with a statement you can write on some POST IT’s, or make a screensaver from, or repeat over and over in your mind. Something that will empower and give constant reminders that you are running this show. You are in charge of this life of yours.
Here are a few examples:
- “Whatever is happening in my life I choose how to feel about it”.
- “The rules don’t apply to me” (my personal favorite).
- “I have the ability to shift my perspective whenever I want to.”
- “I may not like this situation but I know I will get through it stronger and wiser.”
Being guided to slow things down in the past, has given me the wisdom to shift my perspective on the subject. It’s given me time to use these tools and benefit greatly from what they offer. I have used and shared these tips several times with great success. Each step is like a map to help use the emotions involved in a beneficial way. These tips are a guide to understanding what’s going on and how to get those little nuggets of wisdom out so you can shift perspective and get back on track.
Remember you are the writer, director, stage manager, costume designer…you are the creator of your reality and when your shift hits the fan you get to choose how long you stay miserable. I like to think of it on a scale from 1-10. 1 is being happy as can be and 10 is being miserable. Day one of my shift hitting the fan is a strong 10+, everyday after that I make a conscious decision to use my 5-steps and come down at least half a number a day. You will see a shift in your perspective, so the next time your shift hits the fan you’ll be better prepared.
Wishing you all a wonderful day filled with new wisdom and joy.
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